Trust Issues

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So, I’m done with this COVID thing! Can anyone else relate? It seems everywhere I turn, there’s more bad news. It’s just getting worse. When will it end? Will it EVER end? Come on, God! Where’s that miracle? And then there He is again… ‘Do you trust me?’

So I start reeling in those thoughts and fears. 2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. YES LORD! I hear you and I’m sorry you have to keep asking me. I do trust you. But this is hard! And it’s taking forever! And it may last forever! But I’m not you, God. And I can’t see all you’re doing in the midst of this. And I know that even though there’s so much hurt and pain in the world, you can, no… YOU WILL bring good from it.

I start searching your word again, God. Trust… Hmmmm, what does it say about trust? As I’m searching, a page in my journal falls open to something I wrote a while back.

Romans 4:20-21 Yet he (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what He promised.

Then below that verse, I had broken it down for my blonde brain to process. (Ha ha!)

Abraham…did not waver. He kept the faith through everything. He was strengthened by his faith. He gave glory to God in ALL of his circumstances. And he was fully persuaded of God’s power. Not just a little persuaded, FULLY persuaded. Now that’s trust right there! Wow! And can I just say that being a woman with trust issues, that is really hard to do?

Funny I should say that because on the opposite pages in my journal, I wrote…

Do you really trust? Or are you giving conditional trust? Are you trusting God only with what you think He can or will handle and trusting yourself for the rest? He needs your full trust, your full faith! Not lukewarm faith, not trust in only certain things. FULL TRUST! Revelation 3:15-16 says, ‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.

Whoa! What a conviction to my heart that is! And I wrote that to myself! For years I’ve picked and chosen what to trust Him with, which has affected my faith. Which ultimately affects my relationship and love for Him. And I certainly don’t want Him to ‘spit me out of his mouth’! I can’t handle life on my own. I’ll for sure make a mess of it again!

So where do I go from here? Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9

Yes, do what Jesus did! Trust God, even when things look dim. Find the good things. And know that God is still in control! He’s still in control, guys! He’s got this!

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